God and its corollary (poem)

I will commit suicide
if I am convinced that god exists
I will commit suicide
if I am convinced that
purpose of my life is not my own
I will commit suicide
if I am convinced that I am not
the controller of my fate
Whoever may be the almighty
whatever be his intentions
 I will not give him the chance
Even though my birth was beyond
my control
I can always choose death
I can always refuse to live
I am like that soldier who prefer
suicide over surrender
I am like that soldier
 who prefer freedom over
facility
 I am like that soldier who
refuse to serve under any king
however beautiful kingdom may be
I cannot live life pacifying the almighty
however powerful he may be
For me its not fear of death that I live for
its the love of life
for which I live

My Poems

Life in itself
-------------------


In the huge scheme of life I have nothing to fear
no insecurity to bear
all the humiliations that I may end up I am ready to bear
I am not fearful enough to continue the path I don't like
I am not insecured enough to
pursue the destiny I don't like
I will quit the same even if the  alternative doesn't exist
For me its not the destiny that matters
its the path that matters
Whether I like it or not
there it goes
Prestige being others opinion
 doesn't excite me
Power being one's own enemy doesn't provoke me
No man is an island  in himself they say
Every man is an end in himself I say
At the end of day it doesn't matter what I lived for
But it matters whether I lived or not
In the huge scheme of life I have only two options
 either to live to the fullest
or die
Anything in between is a compromise.

shayari

" aisi tanhayi dekhe nahin jaana jahan Teri yaad na  ho(2)
 Aisi yaadein dekhe jahan tanhayi ki koi jagah naho"

"Tujhe dekha to aisa laga ki mila hun main tujhe kahi baar
Kabhi

Society and its standards

Even though I am not family kind of guy,I do love my parents. I talk with them on phone as I work at a place away from them. They usually ask me how's my health, am I taking care of it, is the work too hard?..etc similar lines. I always wondered why they don't ask questions like Are you enjoying your work?, any plans for change of work, are you happy..
Its not their fault. They have taken it as default.I am supposed to be happy as long as I work in stable job and earn decent living.

I have seen some cool parents, who are friends with their children. I have seen friends of their children appreciating them.
I have also heard about some cool parents who drinks with their son or daughter. That time I hear people saying "that's too much ,there should be limit for everything".  Who has defined limit for the things,society?.

Why people stick to the job they don't like?  Is it for money. Is money your ambition. Let me be frank with you,you are not after money, what you are after is stable job.you have seen bits of happiness here and there while working on that job,or you have avoided unhappiness here and there while working on that job.you fear you may loose that bits of happiness if you switch job. You fear you may have to take unhappiness more than previous job, even though you know subconsciously that there is possibility of higher happiness in new job.
In short ,your happiness bandwidth is less.
If you consider happiness bandwidth as a straight line, you can say the maximum happiness that you seek is at the right corner of straight line. The maximum unhappiness you may have to take in order to accomplish the maximum happiness you seeks ,falls at left corner of straight line.Neutral being at middle.
Many religion teach you to reduce your happiness bandwidth,zero being ideal bandwidth. Zero or being neutral is nirvana or moksha to them.

Objectivity v/s Projectivity

Many of the books that I read in childhood had made me confused  for a long time. Born to orthodox family,I some how ended up reading spiritual stuff.
Most of them one or the other way teach that everything is planned. Nature is projective. Everything that happened so far was supposed to happen. Good deeds reap good fruit. Bad deeds reap bad fruit.

These kind of thoughts make one think that nothing is under your control. I pondered these thoughts for a long time.t

I asked myself  "if everything that happened so far was supposed to happen,what f***k  am I doing in this world? Anyways everything is planned"

I also asked myself other way round "if everything that happened so far was not supposed to happen why the f***k did it happen the way it happened?"

Both arguments seemed confusing,unhappy for sometime. Finally I came with conclusion,which I say to myself like this "
Everything that happened so far was supposed to happen and whatever that is going to happen is under my control "



That conclusion may not be logical, but it  makes me happy to think that way

my Quotes

" Nothing is compulsion in life. To live life itself is an option"


" When you free yourself from what you don't like doing,then only you will have clarity of what you like doing"


" I can't be what I am not ,and be happy  with it"

" If happiness comes out of no reason or cause, reexamine your virtues and values.Was it for bromide you lived so long?"



" If you live up to society's standard, you are normal. If you exceed it ,you are extraordinary. If you deviate from it,you are abnormal .:)"


" I have imagined worst possible future for myself. To my surprise ,it seemed cool. Since then I stopped worrying about future"


" In every waking moment of life you have two options, either to live it to fullest or die.
Anything in between is a compromise."